Bobby Cannavale opens up about aging, fatherhood and his new series Scarpetta in Yahoo’s Off the Cuff interview series.

At 28, Bobby Cannavale felt like he was already behind.

While some of his contemporaries were landing movie roles as teenagers, the future Emmy winner was still working in a bar and waiting for his big break. “A lot of the people I’m friends with now had already hit,” he tells Yahoo, pointing to pal Ethan Hawke.

So he did what many actors do in the early years: He said yes. To everything. Whether the role was safe or unconventional didn’t matter. The goal was experience — and the strategy paid off. A steady stream of roles on shows like Sex and the City, Third Watch, Oz, Ally McBeal and Will & Grace built a résumé that would eventually stretch across television, film and Broadway.

“I just wanted to work,” Cannavale says. “I didn’t have any training.”

It’s a mindset that helped launch a long career approaching three decades, even if his perspective on the grind has evolved since then.

“I love acting,” he says, but admits he doesn’t love “working.” What he means by that is all the extras that come with being a working actor: the travel, the outside obligations — yes, even a press tour like this one.

Why? Because these days, the center of gravity is home, where Cannavale and partner Rose Byrne are raising two young sons together: Rocco, 10, and Rafa, 8. He says the real work happens after school pickup: answering endless questions from curious kids who, he proudly notes, aren’t parked in front of screens.

Cannavale also has a grown son, 30-year-old Jake, who stars alongside him in his new seriesScarpetta. The Prime Video drama, based on Patricia Cornwell’s bestselling crime novels, stars Nicole Kidman as famed medical examiner Kay Scarpetta and premieres March 11. Jamie Lee Curtis also headlines the star-studded ensemble.

Jake plays a younger version of his father’s character, and watching his son step on set naturally invited reflection. Now age 55, Cannavale says he’s more selective about the roles he takes and more aware of what matters most outside of set.

“I’ve been really fortunate to get to do this job to support myself and make a living. I’m so grateful for that,” Cannavale says, “but what I’m really grateful for is that I have a great relationship with my three sons.”

One lesson Cannavale says he’s trying to pass on to Jake is the importance of knowing what to keep private in an industry (and world) that loves to overshare. He points to his relationship with Byrne, together since 2012, and how intentionally little they reveal about their family life. OK, so there’s one exception: when Byrne casually mentioned their pet bearded dragon at the Golden Globes, a moment he says she instantly regretted as the story took on a life of its own online.

In Yahoo’s new interview seriesOff the Cuff, Cannavale reflects on the grind that shaped his career, the freedom that comes with age and why, above it all, family comes first.

 

You play Jamie Lee Curtis’s husband in the series. What was it like building that dynamic with her, especially in the more intimate scenes?

The reason I got involved was that she sent me a text message. I had never met her before. It’s such a Hollywood thing. Chris Rock told me that a long time ago — he was the first famous person to ever text me out of the blue. I was like, “How did you get my number?” And he said, “I’m famous.”

So that happened with Jamie Lee. She texted me, “Would you consider playing my husband?” And I said, “Tell me more.” The more I spoke to her, the more I realized I wanted to be anywhere in her aura because she is a force, man. She is so talented. Her career is exemplary — she’s done it all.

Her energy on set and in the scenes is so affecting. I don’t like to overtalk scenes. I trust that Jamie Lee does her work at home — I know that she does because she’s uber-prepared when she’s on set. I’m very much the same way. I think our styles of working are very similar.

Just fireworks. The way that it flies when we do those scenes together. There’s a real feeling of kineticness in those scenes.

Watching your character, Det. Pete Marino, across two timelines, you really see how time shapes him. When you think about yourself in your 20s vs. now, what’s changed the most?

I think the first time I did anything on camera, I was 28 years old. I remember feeling like my contemporaries had already hit. So I really felt like I was behind by the time I got my first job.

The show Third Watch [in 1999] was the first time I stopped working in a bar altogether. I felt pretty old to be getting my start at that point. I look back at it now and just think 28 is so young.

At the time, I just said yes to anything and everything. I was given that advice by somebody I respected very much — just say yes. Say yes because every time you say yes, you get to work as an actor. Whether it’s good or not, you’re getting experience.

I learned so much from those early jobs — Third Watch,Oz,Ally McBeal,Will & Grace. I have a lot of credits because I just said yes, yes, yes.

That evolved into wanting to have good experiences. I would start to consider who’s involved and how good the material is. But in those earlier days, I just wanted to work.

Was there a moment when the grind eased a little — when you felt like, “OK, I’ve made it?”

I don’t think I’ve ever said, “I’ve made it.” But I have a 10-year-old and an 8-year-old now, and it’s hard for me to get motivated to go to work. It’s harder because they’re at such a good age. It takes a lot for me to leave them to go to work.

I guess I’m a lot pickier now because I can be — and because I just enjoy my life with my family. But I’ve just never been that motivated to be on the grind like that. I love acting. I don’t love working. I don’t love everything that goes along with this being a job.

I really like the moments between action and cut. I work on stage a lot. I do a lot of theater. That’s my favorite form of acting. I love to rehearse. I love being with other actors. It’s one of the oldest professions, and it’s a noble one.

The older I get, the less I want to spend my time doing this. I enjoy talking to you, but I know pickup is in like 25 minutes, and I’d much rather be picking the kids up from school!

That sounds like a perspective that comes with time. What have your 50s taught you so far?

Let’s be honest — I think the older you get, particularly in your 50s, issues of mortality come into your brain. Things happen. You start to lose people. You take stock of what’s really important.

I was really lucky to have another family later on in my life. I had Jake when I was 24 years old, and I had these guys 20 years later. How could I not think that that’s why I’m here? I’m here to have these boys and raise these boys.

What does your health and wellness routine look like these days?

Sleep and exercise. Sleep is really important. They say sleep is more important than anything you eat or how much water you drink, and I find that’s true.

I also have to schvitz and I do it every day — either at the gym or at home. That really clears out my head.

I’m really glad I started working out. I didn’t grow up working out — not in high school, not in my 20s or 30s. It wasn’t until my 40s that I started, and it makes everything better. I feel better, I sleep better and my mental health feels more balanced.

I hate to be boring and refer back to my kids, but I just need energy. Rose and I don’t put those guys in front of screens, so we’re the source of all their information — us and their teachers — and they don’t stop asking questions. I need the energy to answer them all.

Your son Jake plays the younger version of your character. As he navigates this industry, do you ever give him advice you wish you’d known at that age?

I think it’s really hard now to navigate all the extras.

So I always try to tell him: Anything you say publicly, just remember you don’t have to be interesting all the time. It’s OK to be boring.

Most of the time, people are looking for a moment they can use to get people to tune in. It might not really be a story, but they’ll try to make anything a story. So don’t take the bait. Usually, my advice revolves around that kind of thing.

 

I’m not going to ask about the bearded dragon — you’ve talked about that enough on this press tour — but you’ve mentioned family a lot. In this chapter of your life, how does being with someone like Rose, who understands the highs and lows of this industry, help ground you?

My family means everything to me. That’s mine and hers and the kids. It’s our private life, and I think keeping it private is important to us.

You mentioned the bearded dragon. Rose has said now a million times, “I wish I’d never said anything about the bearded dragon.” She was caught in such a vulnerable and open moment. I think in that moment she was like, “Where’s Bobby?” She remembered I was at the reptile expo. But she really regretted it because we really do try to keep that private, because it is ours.

And to the point I was just saying about what you reveal publicly — via social media, via all these cameras constantly being put in your face — it’s a choice you make to keep your private life private. And so we endeavor to do that. That’s how we keep everything copacetic and wonderful.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.